it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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