Only a mothe r could love this liver
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
