I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
smell my finger.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
