Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
