I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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