Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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