wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize