And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
