YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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