she woke up with a sticky ear
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
