I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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