I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The air was thick with penises
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
