you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Did I show you my penis last night?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
third nipple confirmed
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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