whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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