Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
