I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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