We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
