I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
