he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
