oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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