with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
