I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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