I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
