I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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