Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
two words...techno handjob
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
