Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
