oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
