Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
