You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
