First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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