Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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