I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
vagina is talking i cant
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
