Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
this boner is exhausting
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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