On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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