let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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