Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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