i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
