And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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