How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
