I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
