you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
