Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
