Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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