Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
