Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
