Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
