I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
did you just send me my own nude
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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