this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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