the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
