I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
