These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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