He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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