Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize