I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
