You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Two words: nipple clamps
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