Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize