But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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