Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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