you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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