i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
